Rainne Cassidy

36. Genderqueer. Hyperobsessed fanperson. Currently mainlining Marvel things. Chris Evans + Sebastian Stan appreciation.
Who I Follow

4gifs:

Turtle dances while showering. [video]

(via ladydeathfaerie)

pondarling:

tumblr text posts: doctor who (rtd era)

(via mkhunterz)

sadurday:

oh man the best is when a dude is like "you’re not wife material." fucking good. i want to be totalitarian dictator material; blood sucking life ruiner material; fucking bulletproof immortal drug lord material. not your fucking wife you gross asshole. 

(via evilkneazle)

desirethepositive:

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!
I get naked.
FULL naked.
REAL naked.
I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.
No cookies. Blatant nudity.
That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…
And there it was.
This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.
Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.
“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”
Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”
As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.
This was, nearly, one of those.
If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.
My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.
I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:
“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”
And inquiries such as:
“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”
Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?
That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.
An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This shit needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

caffeinatedredhead
you needed to read this I’m crying

desirethepositive:

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!

I get naked.

FULL naked.

REAL naked.

I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.

No cookies. Blatant nudity.

That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…

And there it was.

This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.

Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.

“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”

Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”

As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.

This was, nearly, one of those.

If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.

My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.

I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:

“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”

And inquiries such as:

“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”

Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?

That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.

An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This shit needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

caffeinatedredhead
you needed to read this I’m crying

(via aundramouse)

memeterprise:

wrecked

(via zarhooie)

onemuseleft:

ajacquelineofalltrades:

fyeahlilbit3point0:

Hayley Atwell laying waste to the Agent Carter set: A Timeline

One woman wrecking crew

I want to marry this woman.

actual human disaster Hayley Atwell

(via mcgregorswench)

I knew him

(via smshipslt)

xekstrin:

thedovahcat:

ALL THE BUILDUP FOR THAT YOU WIGGLY NOODLE

ferrets are ridiculous

xekstrin:

thedovahcat:

ALL THE BUILDUP FOR THAT YOU WIGGLY NOODLE

ferrets are ridiculous

(via smshipslt)

blossomhael:

CHRIS EVANS

CAPTAIN AMERICA : THE FIRST AVENGER

STEVE ROGERS

Am I the only one who like this scene?

(via smshipslt)

black-american-queen:

dapenguinninja:

giddytf2:

gyrojojo:

leylatimur:

yeeees

why is Ursula shunned from King Triton’s society? does it have something to do with being more powerful than him? why does King Triton have a magical trident, being otherwise a pretty regular merman? Ursula is a witch, if anyone should have a magical artifact it should be her, did King Triton steal it?

and finally, Ursula didn’t do Ariel much wrong

Ariel wanted some legs (and a vagina) and Ursula told her flat out that in the surface world you can have a vagina or a voice, not both

i’d watch the hell out of a movie about Ursula

Ursula told her flat out that in the surface world you can have a vagina or a voice, not both”

ohhhh shit though, ursula was being too real about the world

although perhaps a bit too literal

Okay, these were all excellent points and I’ll never see The Little Mermaid the same way again.

I laughed at that caption at first then the reality actually hit me

you can have a vagina or a voice, not both”

(via pauliporcupine)

tiredestprincess:

@god why did you allow this to happen to one of your angels

tiredestprincess:

@god why did you allow this to happen to one of your angels

(via thefemslasher)

poppetawoppet:

ichikonohakko:

elisebrave:

Let’s try. :D

THIS FUXKING POST IS AMAZING I GOT ACCEPTED INTO ANOTHER UNIVERSITY GOD IT IS OF NO JOKE AHHHHH

Reblogging because my house has been on the market a year now and I’d love for my mum to be able to retire

poppetawoppet:

ichikonohakko:

elisebrave:

Let’s try. :D

THIS FUXKING POST IS AMAZING I GOT ACCEPTED INTO ANOTHER UNIVERSITY GOD IT IS OF NO JOKE AHHHHH

Reblogging because my house has been on the market a year now and I’d love for my mum to be able to retire

(via secondalto)

lillianorchid:

landofskins:

follow for more

I feel I should mention it’s not “rebel”. She actually says “Rabble” as in the lower class or common people.

(via thataintpunny)